Patience is a virtue....

have you ever had one of those times where someone quoted the ever so famous adage "patience is a virtue".... well i feel like it has been haunting me for like a long time now... i havent quite got the memo that i should sit back and trust God... i'm more of a do it yourself kinda person... but if i ever hope to have a strong and close relationship with my God I am going to need to let go of the reins and take a ride...without being in the drivers seat.... if i really and truly want the life God has for me then it has to be in His timing not mine...easier said than done though

i guess the reason why i struggle is that God gives you what you need when you need it and not a second before... this whole last minute skate by type thing is not how i like things and i find myself having to trust Him in this way all the time.... this exercise in trust usually results in me deciding its too hard and trying to circumvent the situation so that i can get things moving along....boy does that mess things up royally.... i wish that i could have the ability to recall the amount of times i have done this and been like wow you dope you have been here before, cant you learn from your mistakes? i guess im just hard headed or something. but i am going to try an experiment this week. I am going to cast my anxiety on God and try my darndest to be trusting of Him in first the little things... like will i make it to class on time... then to progress to bigger things.... taking baby steps toward walking with God... 

this idea has kinda sprung from the sermon my pastor gave the last sunday i was home and went to church.... he read us the book of Jude and used it to show us that in all things we are to trust God and to find our strength in Him and the way to do this was to grow in Him. To take babysteps toward running with God... i mean whoever heard of a baby running right out of the womb anyway?? the point is it is a learning process designed to help us turn away from ourselves back to the one who knows us best. So personally i want to make it a resolution (well not a new years one but more like a new life one) to commit to learning how to walk with God and to try to Give myself to Him in a way that makes the human ucky person die and the reborn and glorious follower of God emerge.

Hopefully i will stick with it and it wont be one of those folky fad diet things, because i want it to be a permanent change. So please pray for me, that i may resist the temptation to give into myself. I pray that others too may learn from me or choose to journey with me. I think it will be worth it! : ) 

as always i will keep you posted