As some of you may know i have not had the best semester at school and have really come to a crossroads as to what God will have me do in my life. I have always just kinda rolled with the flow and such not really wanting to upset anyone or the "plan". But as i reflect today on some of the events that have led to where i am right now, I am trying to see what He might be telling me. Well i don't think i have mentioned this before and if i have i am sorry for the redundancy but i recently transfered to this school (UCONN) from my original school (MCPHS). I transfered because i thought it was what God would have me do, and i still think that it is. However, once i got here i became a deaf blind mute senseless person that never talked to God. It was like yeah yeah God i know i know... when in reality i didnt know anything at all... in fact because i took the reins and was like SEE YA i am in a big bad mess. So as i was thinking about this big bad mess... i thought to myself... God allowed this to happen for a reason. I NEED TO TRUST HIM ENTIRELY!! NOT TO ME BUT TO YOU BE THE GLORY! and that is how I want to spend my week, doing my best to use the gifts God has given me, not to further myself for some purpose that is not what was created for me. It has been so hard trying to make God the center, the foundation of my life....not some decoration that i choose for my own purpose... and the liar sourpuss is not helping! i need to be stronger and not fall away to the temptations of this world! i have made a lot of mistakes, some worse than others. But I want to Live for Him as He intended me to Before the beginning of time, and knowing this i need to put on the His armor and fight my way back to His camp. I continue to be led astray but i want so desperately to be with Him and all that He has for me. Anyway... I cannot do this, I must let Him have me, use me to get to the place where He wants me!
So throughout this stressful week i want to do my best so that I can give Him glory... not just stick another feather in my cap. I want to live for Him! So as i end this, I also want to pray for those who are in my boat or other boats where God is trying to reach them but in their own stubborness they turn away. I pray that they will take His Hand, because it's the first step of many that will lead you to the life you were meant to live and could never even have dreamed of.
Yours in Christ,
Jillian
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs3:5-6
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